I located these old files amongst the Shadow Brokers back log. As they concern you and Garrus I thought you might find them interesting.
Liara
Recovered Recording Number #3
File Uploaded: 2186-06-08
Original Recording Location: Cerberus Vessel SR-2 Normandy
Original Recording Time: After finding Sidonis on the Citadel
Recording of: Vigilante Garrus Vakarian, Cerberus Agent/ Spectre Jane Shepard.
*Recording Starts*
Jane Shepard
*She strides down the corridor
towards main battery, brows pulled into a tight frown. She was still reeling from what she had just
seen. She'd known, in a way, that Garrus's time as Archangel had changed him
but what she saw today... the deliberate beating on a prisoner, the blood
thirsty need for revenge... and not to mention the way he snarled at her. The disbelief and rage in his voice
when she wouldn't let him take the shot. The anger as he turned away from her,
refused to talk all the way back to the Normandy. It was like he was a whole
different person, someone who she wasn't sure she could even like. It had
shocked her, upset her and like all things that touched her that way, had
quickly devolved into anger. She was furious with him as she pounded up the way
to Main Battery. How dare he act so
recklessly, how dare he forget
everything that she knew he knew
about the law, how dare he put her team in danger with his drive for vengeance
and most of all how dare he talk to her like she didn't know a damn thing about what he
was going through. She didn't bother knocking when she reached the main
battery, opening it without a word. Her voice is cold, commanding.* Vakarian.
We need to talk.
Garrus Vakarian
Garrus stood staring at his
terminal for a long time... Sidonis got to live. A deep seated rage filled him
at the very thought of it. But... at the same time, he had to wonder. Was she
right? Did Sidonis really deserve to live to atone for what he did? He'd had
him, right there and he could have taken the shot. But he didn't. He let him
go... Shepard had made him let him go. He growled, torn between the two parts
of him. Garrus Vakarian, the man who knew that Sidonis had acted to protect
himself, his family... and Archangel, the turian who wanted nothing more than
to watch the life drain from the mans face. He was pulled from his thoughts by
the door opening behind him, and he already knew who it was. He'd been
expecting it since they got back, he didn't turn, still not entirely sure how
to handle this... She'd seen a side of him down there he'd hoped never to show
her. The ruthless Archangel, whose only rule was that civilians never got hurt
because of him... He barely turned his head as he responded.* I guessed we
would...
Jane Shepard
*She leans back on one hip, arms
crossed, one hundred percent Commander Shepard.* Do you want to tell me exactly
what happened back there?
Garrus Vakarian
*He glanced back at her now, her
stance, her voice... So detached from him. The same voice she would use talking
to anyone she met on the street. Proud, strong, military... He responded in
kind.* The mission was successful, no allied casualties, your parameters were met in the end. I assume you're not asking
about specific details, as you were there too.
Jane Shepard
*She steps forward one hand slashing through
the air.* Don't give me that crap Vakarian. You were bang out of line today.
Reckless, violent, ready to break whatever laws you felt like and not giving a
damn about anyone who got in the way.
Garrus Vakarian
*He growled involuntarily,
turning to face her now. His eyes were narrowed as he spoke up.* I didn't hurt
a DAMN civilian! Everyone I hurt down there had it coming and you know it! How
many people, many killers, do you think Harkin helped escape? How many?! Don't
you dare act like I'm a goddamn mindless savage! I could have just tossed a
grenade on Sidonis right down there and called it a day! I could have taken him
out where he sat! But I wanted to make DAMN sure that he, and ONLY he, paid for
his crimes Shepard. But you wouldn't even let me have that.
Jane Shepard
*she points a finger angrily him*
Because you weren't making him pay for his crimes! It wasn't justice! It was
revenge! *She paces in front of him.* The Garrus I knew sure as hell wouldn't
have set-to on someone he had as a prisoner. And he also wouldn't think the
best solution is to shoot first and ask questions later!
Garrus Vakarian
I did what it TOOK to find Sidonis.
We BOTH know Harkin wouldn't have talked if we'd just brought him in! Even if
he did, Sidonis could have been long gone by then! I wasn't letting what might
have been my last chance slip through my fingers! Not when all I had to do was
rough up a criminal, a C-sec agent gone dirty at that! Harkin was SCUM! I would
have been doing the galaxy a favour by scrubbing him from its collective boot!
And my methods WORKED! We got Sidonis out in the open! *He brought himself up
to his full height, towering over her now, his mandibles quivering with barely
contained rage.* And then YOU decide to just let him walk away! YOU decide to
take that final moment of closure from me! How would you feel if you had the
chance to get revenge for your squad back on Akuze? To close the FINAL page on
that chapter of your life?! To FINALLY be able to close your eyes and not see
them all DYING around you?! You took THAT from me COMMANDER.
Jane Shepard
I did! *She's right in his face now* Or have
you forgotten? We found the damn scientist responsible for what happened to my
squad and I could have put a bullet
in his brain as easy as blinking! *She's shaking with rage.* But I didn't! Because
I. Am. Not. Like. Them. *Draws herself up.* I thought you were better than this
Archangel. *She puts a sardonic twist
on his name.* But since there is apparently only one damn thing you understand
anymore... *she grabs the front of his armour and yanks.*.. you can damn well
follow me. *Gives him another yank and turns for the door.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He growled as she pushed him
even further, but stopped once she turned to leave. He followed after her, his
hands clenching and unclenching. He remained silent, he had a vague idea where
this was going, but he wasn't entirely sure.*
Jane Shepard
*She strides ahead of him,
heading for the elevator. Gardner looks up, mouth opened in greeting, only to
step back at the looks on both their faces. A hush falls over the crew members
in the Mess Hall as they walk through. Shepard ignores all of them, jaw
clenched, brow furrowed. When they reach the elevator she gets in without a
word, punching for the shuttle bay.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He follows her in, his face
pulled painfully tight as he strides in right behind her. He doesn't take his
usual place at the back of the elevator though, instead standing rigidly
straight as the doors close. He already thinks he knows what she has in mind,
and he's preparing for it. He was ready though, already working on unhooking
his gauntlets as they descended through the ship.*
Jane Shepard
*She sees what he's doing and
knows he's figured it out. Somehow this pisses her off more, that his first
thought is what she thinks it will be: violence. Still as they exit at the
shuttle bay and head towards the area designated for training she turns her head
just enough to say.* Strip. *She goes to her locker and opens it up, pulling
out exercise shorts. She yanks off her Cerberus top to reveal a tight tank
underneath and shucks her pants to pull on the tight shorts.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He follows her over, surprised
by her bluntness, but shrugging, pulling off the gauntlets and chest piece. He
set them in his locker, pulling out his own set of shorts and undoing the seals
on his leg guards. He pulled them off, pulling his own set of shorts on. His
thick talons rapping against the floor as he stood, shoving the rest of his armour
into the locker before shutting it, harder than he should have and heading back
out to the open area.*
Jane Shepard
*She ignores him as she takes the
far side of the mat, doing a few stretching exercises to limber up. She's seen
him in action before, knows about his rather impressive reach. She doesn't
think he's seen her do much hand to hand however and never out of armour. The
basic Alliance training he has to know she has but Shepard has never been the
type to stick to the basics. She knows a few different martial arts and in the
last couple of months has been training with Kasumi. The thief’s diversity had
impressed her when they went against Hock and right now Shepard thinks that her
flexibility is going to be her biggest advantage. Stretches done, she turns to
face him.* Since apparently violence is your new key to solving everything, how
about you and I work this out the only way you understand.
Garrus Vakarian
*He glared at her, stepping onto
the mat and clenching his fists tightly as he did so. He pulled his arms around
his body as she turns to him. His eyes narrowed even more as she spoke, and he
couldn't suppress a growl as he straightened out.* You can't see past the
moment Jane. You see ONE thing I did and refuse to see anything good, even if
it wasn't related to it. */If she can't
forgive you for this Garrus, what did she think of you before?/ He only let
thoughts like that fuel him though, ready for her. He adopted a stance, ready
to put his martial expertise to good use.*
Jane Shepard
I never said that. Don't put
words in my mouth Archangel! *She deliberately uses that name again in an
attempt to rattle him.* But I don't see the good in beating a man when he's
down. *Before the words have even finished leaving her mouth she's on the move,
taking a running leap forward and twisting mid-air to execute one of the flying kicks Kasumi taught
her.*
Garrus Vakarian
*It works. He actually growls
louder as she starts charging him, stepping back to avoid the kick, he felt the
wind on his plates from the force of it. He reached up, going for a swing at
her chest. His other arm moving for a swing at her side as a follow up.*
Sidonis did that and more! Ten people, GOOD men, dead for him! Dead! I would
have been among that body count too!
Jane Shepard
*The blow to the chest misses
when she twists, but he manages a solid hit on her ribs. She rolls with it,
wincing, and comes to her feet behind him. Despite the pain (those damn plated
hands of his are like an armour layer all on their own) she aims a few solid
blows at the unplated areas of his waist before dodging away.* But you weren't!
Just like I wasn't on Akuze. And at least Sidonis had a damn reason for doing
what he did. My men died out of pure scientific inquiry.
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus growled as he tried to
push her hands away, only managing to block the first as the rest of her
attacks connected. He stepped back and coughing as he caught his breath again.
She wasn't holding back at all. He yelled. *A reason?! Any of my other men, ANY
ONE OF THEM, would have died to save his friends! I would have DIED for
Sidonis! I would have died to protect all of them Jane! Don't even BEGIN to
tell me that he had a reason! *His rage pushed him forward, and he brought a
hand up, arcing high in a blow towards her shoulder. But it was a distraction.
His leg came up as he went to knee her in the stomach while she was too busy
with his first attack.*
Jane Shepard
*She doesn't block the initial
blow as he expected but slips under it instead, which allows her to twist in a
way that’s frankly impossible for Turians and avoid the second blow as well.
Using that momentum she flips backwards, out of his immediate reach and circles
him, considering her next blow.* Sounds to me like it wouldn't have been too
hard for you. Not everyone has a damn death wish Archangel. Sidonis made a
choice under fire and he has to live with that burden for the rest of his life.
How are you honouring your men and their sacrifice by going rogue? *Comes in
low, sweeping a leg out, hoping to trip him.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He locks his leg in place, her
attack smashing against his plated leg as he brought his own leg around for a
kick at her. He was angry. Because he couldn't fault her logic. Damned if he
was going to admit it right now though. Instead, he stepped forward.* So one
life was worth the rest of my team!? Would YOU make that decision Jane?! Would
you expect ANYONE in your crew to make the decision to save themselves if it
killed everyone else?! NO! You wouldn't! You'd do EXACTLY what I would have
done Shepard! You're only faulting me for being beyond angry for losing some of
my CLOSEST FRIENDS! Tell me that if someone killed me and the rest of the crew
that YOU wouldn't hunt them down too! If Miranda turned us all over to Cerberus
once this mission was over?! Would you still say you wouldn't hunt her down?
Jane Shepard
*She rolls from the kick and
comes back to her feet. Shit. This wasn't working. He was just getting angrier.
And she could keep going... Hell, she'd been avoiding his obvious weak points,
like his scarring but... wasn't that the problem? He'd spent the last two years
living nothing but violence and anger. She had to take a gamble and trust that
he'd let her. That he wouldn't press this advantage. She steps in close, well
within his reach, right up close where he had every advantage. And she made no
move against him.* I'd hunt them. I'd find them. And I'd only take them down if
there was no other choice. Because
I'd be damned if I ever thought you'd want me to destroy myself that way.
*Looks up at him.* If you keep going this way, I'm going to lose you anyway G.
*It's the first time she's said out loud the name that's been reverberating
through her mind since the moment they first kissed.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus reached around, as she
got in close, he moved to bring his long arms around her into a grab, but
stopped at her words. She... had a point. His arms relaxed, falling to his
sides as she looked at him, and he looked back at her. He could see the fear in
her eyes, the fear of... losing him. Of never seeing the Turian he had once
been before. Even he could see it, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep,
calming breath as he calmed down.* ... You're right. At this rate, I'm going to
be consumed by the guise of Archangel... *He opened his eyes.* For you, Jane, I
can be Garrus Vakarian...
Jane Shepard
*She can see it’s hard for him,
so hard to let it go. She can't even begin to truly comprehend what it was that
he went through while she was... dead. Slowly, giving him every chance to step
away, she brings up her hand to cup his scarred cheek. Trying to tell him by
touch alone that she can still see him there, under the burden of everything he
carries.* Garrus...
Garrus Vakarian
*His mandible fluttered under her
touch, and he reached up gently, brushing some of her hair that fell into her
face during the fight away as he spoke.* Actually, I think I liked it when you
called me G... Felt more... personal. *He nodded very slightly as if to affirm
that. A thought passed through his mind, one that he'd promised he'd share...
no more hesitations after Sidonis was handled he'd told himself. He took a deep
breath, steeling his resolve... but he wasn't sure what to say, or how to say
it right...*
Jane Shepard
*She finds herself unable to stop
from smiling up at him, the faintest tint of pink highlighting her cheeks.*
Well... I'm glad you like it.
Garrus Vakarian
*He looked down, now, a blue tint
rising through his own cheeks as he fumbled over how exactly to say how he
felt... And how did he feel? It wasn't like this was something he was used to
after all. He felt suddenly nervous, and reached up, scratching the back of his
neck slightly as he spoke next.* Um... Jane... How do... I mean... Would you be
interested in... I... Ugh. *He felt like an idiot now, his resolve wavering
slightly as he didn't know what exactly to say here.*
Jane Shepard
*She's confused. He seems so...
uncomfortable now. For a moment she has to wonder if she's somehow stepped over
some Turian line of acceptable behaviour but the way he fumbles doesn't make it
seem likely. Her eyebrows rise as he stutters, something that is so completely
unlike him that she finds herself grinning. Reaches up to tap him on his plated
chest (and at that very inappropriate moment is reminded of the fact that she's
seeing him bare chested for the second time) and looks up at him, eyes
sparkling* Spit it out G.
Garrus Vakarian
*He takes a deep breath, his eyes closed for
the moment that he does as he gathers himself up. /Just say it Vakarian./ His crystal blue eyes open, staring straight
down into hers as he speaks clearly again.* I love you Jane Shepard. I have for
a... long time. Since the SR-1. But I didn't... With Alenko and Liara vying for
your affection... I didn't want to complicate an already delicate situation.
Besides, it's not as if a turian like me has a chance with you... I just needed
to say it, and let you know. *He gave her a moments pause and he could swear he
wasn't quite breathing as he searched her face for a reaction...*
Jane Shepard
*She feels like he's stolen her
breath away. Her heart is hammering ten times faster than it should and her
voice comes out a choked gasp.* You... I... We, we spent all that time together
and you never said a word. You, you never said... *shakes her head, trying to
clear it.* You never said a word
Garrus Vakarian
*He reached up, rubbing the back
of his neck and looking down, stepping back slightly. Yeah, he'd definitely
gone too far. There was no going back now. No more visits down to the main
battery, witty banter, laughing about his calibrations... Nothing like that. It
would be too awkward for both of them...* I... Sorry. I shouldn't have... I
mean, I did, and I meant it. But... I don't want this to become... I didn't
mean to make this awkward between us...
Jane Shepard
Garrus, thats not what I... *she
reaches for him, stops* Shit. *Rubs her forehead, trying to collect her
thoughts. She couldn't screw this up, not this. He was her best friend, her...
her escape, her safety point. She needed
him. But this? Love? It was so much, so very much. And if she messed it up, if
she ruined it like she ruined everything else around her... She had so very
much to lose. More then she'd let herself have since Mindoir.* I just...
*Shakes her head, frustrated. She felt like she was on the precipice of
something important, something life changing. But for the first time since she
could remember she found herself too scared to jump.* I can't... Dammit. *Her
eyes feel like they're stinging and her heart is pounding and she's utterly,
utterly terrified she's getting this wrong.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He winced as she said she
couldn't, and his fears were confirmed. He felt... numb. He took a slow breath,
but nodded slightly.* Right. No, it's okay I uh... Right. *He nodded again as
he fought to maintain his composure. He took a step back, looking over at the
elevator. He looked back at the lockers where his armor was held, moving to
step past Jane.* Well, it's out there now... So there's uh... There's that.
I'll go... calibrate something. You know where to find me if you need me. *Her
words cut him deep, but he refused to show it. Not to anyone, and especially
not to her.*
Jane Shepard
*He was walking away. She was letting him walk away. /You idiot!/ Her thoughts screamed at
her. /What the hell are you doing?/
Her mind felt like it was full of sludge, her thought processes turning over so
slowly that she could barely comprehend them. /Why do you think this matters so much?/ The voice in her head was
back. /Haven't you figured it out yet? He
needs you! And you need him! You're not right when you're apart. You had Kelly
damn well near tear the universe apart looking for him. You felt like you
couldn't breathe when he wasn't around. You damn well came back from the dead
and he was still the first thing you thought about. Are you really that thick?/
She blinks. She needed him... she missed him... she damn well thought she was
going crazy without him... Could it be that she had been in love with Garrus
Vakarian this entire time?* G, wait. Don't go. *She reaches out one shaking
hand towards him.* Please.
Garrus Vakarian
*Her voice froze him. His entire
body tensed, and he refused to turn to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but
the words wouldn't come. He shut it again, his mandibles pulled taut at his
cheeks as he waited. Whatever she wanted to say... He'd listen as long as he
could.*
Jane Shepard
*Fuck. He couldn't even look at
her.* I... *she halts, grits her teeth.* Dammit Shepard just spit it out.
*Tries again. Fails. She's frustrated and angry at herself and she steps
forward, reaching out to wrap her hand around his arm.* G, I don't know how to
do this okay? I've, I've never tried. I've never met anyone like you before. You just... *she lets go again, throwing
her hands into the air in exasperation.* You just get me. And I don't know what
to do with that. But I can't seem to
do without you either. I need you. I *drops her head, shaking it* I'm just
totally screwing this up.
Garrus Vakarian
*He turned his head slightly,
not... quite sure what was going on. /Good
god Garrus are you thick?/ His rational mind might have been able to work
through it, but G hadn't been listening to it for a while now. He turned
slightly at her words, and watched her. /You
GET her Garrus! She admits it! She NEEDS you Garrus! If you can't get that
much.../ But the voice was quiet, his emotional processes drowning it out.
He reached out a hand to her shoulder, but couldn't find the words to voice the
question he so desperately wanted to ask...*
Jane Shepard
*As his hand rests on her
shoulder she shudders all over.* It's so stupid *She almost doesn't seem to be
talking to him.* So very stupid. I spent all my free time down by the Mako. I
thought Kaidan was an idiot and Liara was too shy, but I couldn't figure out
who I was measuring them up against. I took you on every mission. I missed you terribly while you were gone. I planned
to find you as soon as we got back to the Citadel for christ-sake. *She shakes
her head, still not looking at him.* And then, I go and die and I wake up and you're gone! I can't find you. No-one can. I
have Kelly spend half our funding looking for you. And I still don't realise why it's so god-damned important. *Finally she
raises her head to look at him and he can see the conflict there.* How? How can
you be in love with someone and not even realise?
Garrus Vakarian
*His heart stopped, everything
seemed to freeze at her words. He played them over in his head just a couple
times, making sure he'd heard them right as he stared at her. He opened his
mouth to speak, but shut it quickly. /Don't
just stand there like a dumbstruck Vorcha! SAY ANYTHING!/* I don't know. */THAT'S your great line? Good fucking job
Vakarian./* But... I'd imagine it's not too different from how I was before
our kiss... *He stepped closer to her, his hand on her shoulder falling to her
waist.* Jane... *That was all he could come up with now, his mind and heart
were racing at FTL speeds at this point, and he was searching her for
something, anything to tell him to just go for it...*
Jane Shepard
*She flushes at his words and his
movements, staring at him as though hypnotised. Her heart was hammering, her
pulse pounding and she could swear there was some sort of electricity flowing
between them, over-riding all of her senses. She couldn't seem to make herself
move or speak. Instead she just gazed up into his crystalline eyes... waiting.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He stands there, silent for a
long moment... Words weren't going to solve this, he could see it now. No.
There was only one way to handle this one now. Damn the consequences, damn
protocol, and damn the part of him that questions his own sanity right now. He
leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, closing his eyes. There were only two
real outcomes at this point, three, but that one would leave him especially
awkward, and he chose to ignore it's possibility.*
Jane Shepard
*She gasps when he presses his
hard plated mouth to hers. The inhale is enough to fill her mouth with his
scent and before she can stop she finds herself pressing her mouth back against
his. Gingerly, she inches her fingers up so that they lightly rest on his
plated chest, as she angles her head so her lower lip has better access to the
softer skin under his mouth plating.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Relief files him as she returns
the gesture. His movements are... clumsy. Turians don't 'kiss' so this was
solely to show her his affection the only way he knew how. That she would
recognize immediately. His hand moved from her waist as he wrapped his arms tightly
around her, pulling her against him as he tried his best to kiss her in
return.*
Jane Shepard
*He was clearly hesitant in his
movements and she was pretty damn sure that Turians didn't kiss but then he
wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and /that/ was definitely the
right thing to do. She's even less sure then him about where it's okay to put
her hands but she lets them slide up along his neck. Even more carefully she
runs her tongue lightly under his mouth plating, tasting, testing. His skin is
metallic and salty but also warm and oddly... nice. Her fingers slip further up
till she finds them curling just under his fringe.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He groans, a soft purr slipping
from him. He's surprised at the sound, but... doesn't care enough to stop it as
he lets his hands roam her body now. Free of his fear, he threw himself into
this with surprising vigor. His tongue darting out, sliding against hers
gently. Another sensation he found he liked...*
Jane Shepard
*She shivers all over as that
groaning purr slips from him again. Encouraged she pulls herself closer to him,
fingers stroking lightly under his fringe. His taloned hands are caressing her
freely, the sharp points evoking little tremors along her skin. He opens his
mouth to hers and then their tongues are tangling against each other once more.
He /tastes/ amazing and his dexterous tongue is moving in ways she cant even
describe and then... she almost coughs. It's nothing much, just a faint tickle
at the back of her throat. She ignores it, enjoying the feel of his plates
against her skin... when it happens again. This time she has to pull away, one
hand going to a throat that suddenly feels tight.* G? *she barely manages to
wheeze out and can't believe it's her own voice. Her head feels light and her
throat feels like its closing and she braces one hand against him as she
doubles over, trying to find some way to breathe.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus relished the feeling of
her touch. Her tongue was soft, but firm at the same time, and the way it slid
along his own was exhilarating... His talons dug into her skin a little as he
ached for her... She pulled away to cough, and her hand lunges for her throat.
The turians eyes widen as she tries to speak, and he pulls up a comm quickly.*
Garrus to a med team! Need immediate support in the shuttle b-- *His voice was
cut off by a hacking cough... his own. His mandibles tightened of their own
accord, and he held a hand to his chest as he felt his pulse grow erratic. His
throat was dry, like he could feel flakes of dust billowing through it. He
tried to take a long breath, but all he managed was another hacking cough.*
Jane Shepard
*shit, shit, shit. She can't breathe. She can hear Garrus calling in
a med team as she tries to force air through a rapidly closing throat. Then a
harsh cough interrupts him and she sees him grab his own chest. It breaks
through the haze she's feeling and she hits the emergency button on her OT. Her
locator goes off and instantly EDI's voice is heard through the comm. "Commander?
I'm reading erratic life signs in you and Officer Vakarian. I've called in the
med team." Shepard chokes in a lungful of air and as her legs collapse out
from underneath her manages to force out one word.* Allergies. *The world goes
dark.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus watches as she starts to
fall, pushing forward and reaching out an arm. He tumbles to the ground with
her, but manages to break her fall. His plates scrape against the ground but he
doesn't seem to care about that. His breathing is heavy and laboured, his
entire body shivers and shakes, tremors wracking him as she says exactly what
he's already thinking. The elevator opens and a small med team rushes out to
them. Once they arrive, he falls back, letting himself be taken by
unconsciousness...*
Jane Shepard
*The return to consciousness is
as sudden as it was lost. With a gasp she comes awake, sitting up as her hand
flies to her throat. The in rushing air hurts and she starts coughing.*
"Here you go Commander." *a flask of water fills her vision and a
straw is proffered. Gingerly she sips at it and finds it eases the ache some.
Chakwas is the one holding it and as soon as she can Shepard asks a whispered.*
Garrus? *The doc nods. "Mr Vakarian will be just fine." Her gaze is
intent on Shepards. "And you will be relieved to know that Grunt was not
affected by whatever you two came into contact with while on your mission." Shepard understands immediately.* Good
to know. It hit us while we were... training. *She coughs some more.* Where is
he?
Garrus Vakarian
I'm fine... *G's voice came from across the
room. He'd continued trying to get up, insisting that he really was better now,
but Chakwas wouldn't have any of it. So he lay in bed, rapping his talons
against one of the leg plates on his thigh as he waited, growing more and more
frustrated. He wanted to go and check on Jane...*
Jane Shepard
*she tries to say something,
coughs, tries again.* You’re sure? *Chakwas's hand is on her shoulder,
preventing her from moving. She knows the Doc has a point. There another staff member in the room still and
even if the Doc managed to make the medic believe they were dosed with
something, the circumstances they were found in were suspicious. Alone,
stripped of their usual clothing... Which ironically was all innocent. What they were doing hadn't been and her going
over there and checking him herself wouldn't be either.* I... think I remember
you hitting the deck pretty hard right as I blacked out.
Garrus Vakarian
*He grunts a little, his shoulder
had been hit hard by the ground, but he'd survive. It hadn't stopped Chakwas
from administering some anesthetic to him anyways. He felt groggy, and he hated
it. He couldn't sit up properly either...* I'll be alright.
Jane Shepard
*She winces as Chakwas applies
another hypo spray. The pain in her throat cleared as did her head. Nods.*
Thanks Doc. *Gingerly she swings her legs over the edge of the bed and stands.
Her limbs feel slightly shaky but she can feel them starting to steady. Glances
in G's direction and then the medics. Chakwas clears her throat. "Venen,
take the kit and go take a sample from Grunt. I want to make absolutely sure
he's free of contamination. His Krogan system may just be delaying the effects."
The medic nods and leaves and Chakwas turns to Shepard. "I'll give you a
moment Commander. I will need to prescribe you and Garrus some dextro/levo
specific anti-histamines before you go." Shepard fights off a blush and
nods at her, waiting for her to exit. There's a long pause after the Doctor
leaves and she hesitates. Not entirely sure what G is thinking right now.*
Garrus Vakarian
*A blue blush creeps up his
mandibles at the doctors words. He was impressed with the excuse that they had
come up with, grateful to the doctor for giving them such a useful excuse
though, so he said nothing. He tried to sit up again as he heard Jane do so,
but he couldn't manage it. They were alone now in the med-bay though...* Hell
of a second kiss... *He tried to lift his head enough to look at her, but his
cowl was in the way. Stupid turian physiology...*
Jane Shepard
*She makes her way over to him.*
I should have thought of the possibility of an allergic reaction. Guess that
shows what happens when you let your hormones do the thinking for you.
Garrus Vakarian
*He chuckled softly, looking up
at her now that she was here. Her face was a sight for sore eyes... Which,
incidentally, his eyes were still sore from the allergic response.* I didn't
either. Neither of us was really thinking of much more than each other right
then... Not that I'm complaining.
Jane Shepard
*A tension she hadn't even
realised she had unknotted inside her. What if he had decided they were too incompatible
to make it worth the risk... She puts a hand on his shoulder.* Glad to hear it
big guy. *Eyes him carefully* Now how are you doing, really.
Garrus Vakarian
*He winced slightly as she put a
hand on his shoulder, muttering slightly.* Doc says I nearly pulled my shoulder
out of socket when I reached out for you. Floor there is pretty damn hard...
Got me pumped with some drugs, and now I'm having trouble moving too much. Said
it should wear off in about 15 minutes or so... but until then, I'm just laying
here.
Jane Shepard
*Yanks back her hand.* Sorry.
*Rubs her neck awkwardly* I don't seem to be doing a very good job of this...
*tries to joke.* Send you into anaphylactic shock, pass out on you, damn near
break your shoulder when you try and catch me, then put my hand right on the
injury. *Damn, she's babbling. Shuts her mouth. She's really bad at this.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He reached up, taking her hand
as she pulled it back and ignoring the pain in his shoulder, chuckling to mask
it.* I didn't say I minded...
Jane Shepard
*She relaxes slightly in his
grasp.* Well... good. *Shoots him a glance and there's a bit more of her usual
self in the way her eyes twinkle.* Did I mention that I really don't know what
I'm doing here?
Garrus Vakarian
*He laughed a little, leaning his
head back.* Neither do I. Hate to admit it, but this is my first real
relationship that I've considered anything more than really... physical. If you
get my meaning. Wait, that sounds really bad...
Jane Shepard
*chuckles and goes to sit on his
bed.* Scooch over a bit.
Garrus Vakarian
*He reaches down with his other
hand, grabbing the edge of the table and pulling himself towards it to give her
room to sit next to him.*
Jane Shepard
*She sits, angling herself so she
can face him. Somehow... this is easier then she would have expected. It's
Garrus. She knows him and he knows her. Inside and out. Cocks her head
slightly* I've got to say I find that surprising. Ladies man such as yourself.
I always wondered why some nice Turian girl hadn't tied you down years ago.
*She's teasing him, but there is also a real question in there.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He looked up at her, a smile
playing across his features, mandibles flexing as her simple presence was...
soothing. Her comment though was easy for him to answer. He shrugged.* Never
really had time to be interested. Most girls want a man who'll be around when
they need him... For me, the job always came first. Catching bad guys was a lot
more important to me than finding someone like that. I figured if it happened,
I'd deal with it then. Then you came along and... I realized I had no idea HOW
to deal with it.
Jane Shepard
*laughs, shaking her head.* Well
I sure wasn't expecting you either Garrus. I never really gave much thought to
a relationship. After Mindoir... well I was more focused on my career. I liked
to keep things short, simple, not get too involved. It was easier that way.
*Shoots him a sly glance.* And then some damn cocky Turian turns up out of
nowhere, demands to be part of my crew to hunt down a super-villain and manages
to sweep me off my feet.
Garrus Vakarian
*He grinned, laughing a little at
her comment and trying to push himself up, having a little more success now,
though his arms were still a bit shaky, and pain shot through his shoulder,
but he ignored it. He turned to face her, chuckling slightly.* Well, I always
did save the day with that whole super-villain business. As for sweeping you
off your feet, that was just a happy accident... One I didn't even realize I'd
made.
Jane Shepard
*Wry grin* Well you weren't the
only one... *thinks for a moment* except for Kaidan.
Garrus Vakarian
*His grin fades slightly as she
mentions Kaiden, and he reaches out, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.*
Jane Shepard
*She's oblivious to the way his
smile has faded. Thoughtfully* He was always jealous of you. I couldn't figure
out why but... *laughs* it certainly came as an advantage when I hid out in the
Mako... didn't work as well after you left.
Garrus Vakarian
*He chuckled softly as he managed
to swing his legs over so he's sitting next to her now.* Maybe it was because
of your nearly constant visits down to see me... He never approached me about
it though. I think I might have intimidated him a bit.
Jane Shepard
*glances at him* Really? He was
always in my ear about it. Not us but about you, sure. I thought he just wanted
in on more missions. And then it got worse after... after I said no. The first
time he said, well, you know. How he felt. Once you were gone it was a whole
different ball game.
Garrus Vakarian
*He chuckled a little.* Every
once in a while, he'd come down and just... stand at the elevator for a bit,
watching me. I always thought he was going to come talk, but he never managed
to do it. *He glanced at her, arching a brow plate.* A different ball game? Did
the two of you ever...?
Jane Shepard
*she looks frankly horrified.*
With Kaidan? Are you kidding? Don't
get me wrong, the guys a hell of a marine and I'd have him on my squad any day
but... like that? *she shakes her
head* Not even as just a roll in the hay. And it wouldn't have been just a bit
of fun for him. It would have meant more. I don't mess with people like that.
Garrus Vakarian
*He nodded quickly, raising his
hands up.* Right, right. Didn't mean it like that. I just... I was gone for a
while. No idea what happened and... well, it's good to ask I guess. One less
thing to worry about coming up, you know? Ah, not that I'd worry. I mean... I
guess I'm no better at this, huh?
Jane Shepard
*She eyes him for a moment.* What
about you... when you got back to the Citadel I mean. You were a big damn hero
and all. Must have had the ladies flocking to you. *She deliberately doesn't
ask about after she died. She's not ready for that conversation yet.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He laughed, raising his hand
up.* I wouldn't know, since I was trying to be a spectre and all... Still, I
wouldn't have cared even then... *He gave her a quick, but significant glance
before he sighed a little, looking back at the ceiling.* On a different note
though... Where do we stand now, exactly?
Jane Shepard
I.. *Where did they stand? He said he loved
her and, well it turned out that she loved him too, possibly always had but...
what did that mean? She didn't even really know whether Turian love meant the
same thing as human love.* ...I don't know. *They'd kissed but even amongst
humans that could mean a variety of things from 'I really like you' to 'lets
just have some fun and I'll forget your name in the morning'. And she strongly
suspected that Turians didn't kiss at all so perhaps he didn't even realise the
significance of what he'd done. What did Turians do to show affection? There
was, she was beginning to realize, a lot more she needed to learn.* Where do
you want us to stand?
Garrus Vakarian
*He shifted uneasily at her
question, glancing down at his talons. The fact that neither of them was
armored now very apparent to him. A blue tint rose in his cheeks and he coughed
a little.* I'm not sure... I don't really know how these things progress for
humans so...
Jane Shepard
*She can't help it. She starts
chuckling. Her hand flies to her mouth to cover it but it's too late and she's
lost to it now. She doesn't want him to get the wrong idea so she makes frantic
waving motions at him, even as she tries to muffle the sound.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He blinks, looking over at her
as his mandibles flex indignantly.* What? What's so funny? I don't know anything about human relationships...
*He muttered, his mandibles growing an even brighter blue as he actually said
the words out loud, glancing back at his talons as he fidgeted more.*
Jane Shepard
*Dammit, she has offended him.
And the damn giggles won't go away!*
No, no. *More frantic hand motions.* Not what I meant. *She's actually got
tears of laughter in her eyes. Somehow this
misunderstanding is just making her laugh more.* Me neither. *She thinks her
face may just crack from trying to hold in her grin.* About Turians. *Oh god
she's losing it isn't she.* I just... you just said... what I was thinking...
and god we're hopeless. *she forces every words out between her own laughter
and whether he's happy with her or not she's forced to lean against him just to
keep herself propped upright.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He looks at her, and he can't
help but start to chuckle with her... A grin breaking out on his face as she
mentions that they're hopeless. He's tempted to just lean back and let her
fall, but doesn't, unsure if he himself would be able to get back up quite so
easily. Instead, he wraps an arm tentatively around her shoulders, smiling and
looking up at the ceiling.* I think I figured it out then. Where we stand that
is.
Jane Shepard
*He wraps an arm around her
shoulders and the heat that comes from his plated skin on hers is enough to
finally bring the giggles to a halt. At his words she can't help but tense,
worried now that maybe he took her laughter to mean she wasn't, couldn't be
serious. Looks up at him and is startled to realise, that due to their
positions on the med-bed, his face is mere inches from hers. Her throat goes
dry and she bites her bottom lip* Where?
Garrus Vakarian
*He grinned wider, leaning closer
and letting his voice turn to a whisper.* Happy. Something we desperately need
in these times... That's enough for me for now.
Jane Shepard
*Happy? Just something he needs?
She tries to take a moment to think this over. Could she be fine with that?
Being the person that G spent time with because he needed an escape? Logically
speaking it should be perfect for her. It really wasn't that much different
from the few easy going relationships she'd been in before. Sometimes, with the
right companion, a night of stress relief could turn into several and before
you knew it a relationship of sorts had formed. It's there, its consistent, it
gives both parties a place to hide-away from the brutalities around them and at
the end you'd both go your merry ways. It should be perfect. Except she'd rather
thought... Well perhaps this was the first of the differences between Humans
and Turians. The difference of what they meant when they said love. She looks
up at him. His mandibles are relaxed and there is a softness in his gaze she
can't recall before. In fact, she realises, she can't actually remember the last
time she saw him look this... content. Could she do this for him? Could she be
his haven away from it all, for as long
as he needed it? She finds herself nodding.* Happy. Okay. That sounds like
something I can manage. *Her voice is light and teasing and she lets a smile
curve her lips even as she feels like something is sinking down inside her. For
Garrus Vakarian, she's only just beginning to realise, she would do just about
anything. Even let him go.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He glanced at her with a grin.*
Don't get me wrong Jane... I'm not saying I'm not willing to commit to
something long term. But, until we figure out exactly how this whole...
interspecies thing works, happy is as good a status as any, don't you think? I
mean, if our cultures vary too much on certain subjects it could end up being
very awkward... For both of us. But it's something I'm willing to explore
together.
Jane Shepard
*She hesitates for a moment.* And
if it doesn't? Work?
Garrus Vakarian
*His expression hardened a
little, and he looked at her.* I don't know about you, but I'll be damned if
I'm giving up just like that. If there's anything you and I can do, it's make
it work.
Jane Shepard
*Alarmed* That's not what I meant
G. *Pauses but then reaches for his hand. As her five fingers wrap around his
three talons its like a reminder of just how different they really are.* I
meant... will you still be here. *It costs her to ask this, to reveal even just
a little how much she's come to rely on having him around. How much she needs
that.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He watches her as she asks the
question, choosing his answer carefully for a minute before nodding to her. He
gives her hand a gentle squeeze, smiling to her.* Jane, unless you absolutely
cannot have me aboard this ship, I will still be here. Reapers won't keep me
off. Collectors won't keep me away from you. Cerberus definitely won't be able
to get me off this ship either...
Jane Shepard
*Another small knot inside her
untwists. She nods, manages a smile.* I'd like to see Cerberus try. *chuckles*
Imagine Miranda's face if she knew...
*Recording Ends*
Recovered Recording Number #2
File Uploaded: 2186-05-29
Original Recording Location: Cerberus Vessel SR-2 Normandy
Original Recording Time: After Horizon
Recording of: Vigilante Garrus Vakarian, Cerberus Agent/ Spectre Jane Shepard.
*Recording Begins*
Garrus Vakarian
The shuttle rocked back and forth as they sat, staring at
the floor. The horizon of Horizon slowly grew wider and more arced as they
pulled away from the planet, until it finally became the sphere of the planet.
The Normandy was on a round to pick them up, but it would still take a few
minutes for them to rendezvous. Grunt was sitting with the pilot, regaling the
poor man with the glory of the fight. His conquests on the planet filled the
cockpit, but thankfully the door between them was shut, leaving Shepard and
Garrus alone for the time. Garrus watched Shepard carefully, he knew how that
final talk must have affected her... Seeing a friend unable to trust you like
that... It was the same look he'd seen his squad give Sidonis at their betrayal.
"Hey... You alright?" He spoke softly, unsure how she would be
handling it right now. He wanted to be there for her.
Jane Shepard
*She's staring straight forward, leaning with her elbows on
her thighs, hands clasped in front of her. Her eyebrows are drawn in a deep
frown and her voice is tight when she eventually speaks.* Exactly what part of
everything that just happened am I supposed to be okay about?
Garrus Vakarian
*His mandibles pulled tight, her tension very evident in her
tone as he sat up straighter. She put him on edge, and he spoke harder now.*
Well, we did just save most of a colony from the Collectors. We proved that we
could fight back and win. I'd consider that something to be okay with. *He knew
that she wasn't talking about that. She was upset at the betrayal she felt, and
that was something that he understood all too well. Sidonis would be a constant
reminder of that to him...*
Jane Shepard
The colony? *the look she gives him is scathing and
incredulous.* We lost hundreds of
people. We didn't stop anything. *Her
mouth firms in a hard line.* Not to mention... *She halts mid-sentence and
something in her just seems to shut down. She looks away from him, leaning back
into the wall, giving him nothing at all.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He glanced out at the world below them, sighing softly.*
More than any other colony hit by the collectors can say Ja-- Shepard... *He
chided himself for almost slipping, using her first name. He focused back on
her. He clenched a fist, but sighed softly. He wasn't the right person to
comfort her about the betrayal she was feeling right now. Not when his own
choice when dealing with betrayal was to hunt the bastard down and put a bullet
in his skull. He didn't think that would be the best advice to give in regards
to Kaiden right now...*
Jane Shepard
*The shuttle shudders as it enters the Normandy and the door
next to her slides open. A boisterous Grunt enters the main area, still
grinning over recent events. Slams a hand into her shoulder* "That was a
glorious battle Shepard. You should bring me on all your missions. I'll show
them what pure krogan can do." *The blow knocks her out of her thoughts
and she forces a smile onto her face.* I'm glad you had fun Grunt. *She's
deliberately not looking at Garrus right now. There's some part of her, some
part that she doesn't want to face, that is wondering if deep down he thinks
the same things Kaidan does.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus feels the shuttle shudder, and the doors close on
the bay, cutting off his view of the planet below. He watches Grunt as he re-joins
them, clapping Shepard on the shoulder. He saw her smile, and closed his eyes.
The shuttle re-pressurized to match the Normandy and the door slid open. He
stood carefully, his side burned a bit as he did, he'd taken a slight wound
there. Something he could patch up easily himself though. He stepped off the
shuttle, knowing that trying to force a talk with Shepard now would just
feel... awkward.*
Jane Shepard
*She waits for them both to depart the shuttle before
stepping off herself. She smiles again at Grunts excitement, doing makeshift
work around the shuttle. She can feel something building up inside her and she
wants them gone before it explodes.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus looks back at Jane as they step off. His side aches
and pulls at him, telling him to head up and get himself taken care of first.
But instead, he sets a hand on Shepard's shoulder, speaking softly.* I know
you're upset about it now but... give it some time. I'm always around, if you
need to talk about it.
Jane Shepard
*She can't help it. She half turns towards him at his touch.
The tingling sensation she had noticed right before they hit Purgatory had only
being getting stronger. Now she could swear she can actually feel when he's near. Which makes what
she's thinking right now... what she thinks he
might be thinking underneath it all, that much more painful. She fights
against it, against the damnable warmth that feels like its seeping through her
shoulder from his touch. She's better off this way. Hell, Kaidan used to follow
her around saying that he loved her. If someone who thought themselves in love
with you could think such things, then what must everyone else be thinking? She
closes her eyes and pulls away.* I'm fine.
Garrus Vakarian
*He let his hand slip from her shoulder, nodding slightly.
The almost imperceptible sound of a sigh coming from him as he straightened
up.* Right... I'll be in the usual place then if you need me. *He turned to go,
stopping as he reached the lift and looking back at her over his shoulder.
Kaiden's actions hurt her. A lot. He always wondered how close they had been...
Her actions would make sense, in that context. The lift doors opened, Grunt
pushing in next to him as he stepped in. The Krogan laughed as the doors closed,
tossing Garrus a grin. "Is it always like that with her?" The Turian
forced a chuckle as the doors opened just above the shuttle bay, at the
engineering level.* Usually. Sometimes it's even better. *The Krogan let out a
loud laugh, still riding his adrenaline rush as he stepped out. "Good! I
look forward to a good long fight then!" The doors closed and Garrus
slumped back against the wall of the lift, wincing slightly. He needed to get
some medi-gel on the wound soon. It was starting to hurt more and more. He
stepped off at the crew deck, heading to the main battery.*
Jane Shepard
*The moment the door closed her gauntleted fist slammed into
the shuttle.* sonofabitch! *She hissed out the words and punched the shuttle
again. The anger and betrayal, the hurt she felt at Kaidans words, the fear of
what everyone else felt, all of it subverted into one thing and one thing only.
Rage. Pure, unaltered rage. She slammed her fist into the shuttles side again.*
Betrayed you? I was dead you sick sonofabitch! *Slam* How dare you! *Slam* How
dare any of you! *Slam* I. Didn't. Want. To. Die! *As this last sentence came
out the biotics she had barely bothered to learn flared out and suddenly the
containers inside the shuttle raised themselves up before coming down with crushing
force. Her eyes gleamed. Here was something she could use.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He stepped into the main battery, oblivious to the display
of rage going on just a short ways below him. He made sure the door was closed
before unsealing his armour, pulling off the chest piece. He could see the
inside was stained blue, the wound a bit deeper than he thought. He winced a
little as he touched it before pulling off his gauntlet. He kept a small supply
of medi-gel in the room, opening the drawer he kept it in and pulling it out as
he sat on the side of his cot.*
Jane Shepard
*She sends a container hurtling up into the air. Biotics
pulsed around her and the container goes slamming back into the ground. The
ships comm chimes and Miranda's voice is heard.* "Commander EDI tells me
you ordered the door locked and the video feed disabled. Is there something I
should know about?" *Shepard grunts with effort as she sends another
container into the air.* Nothing you need concern yourself with. *Slams the
container back down. Grits her teeth as the effort makes her sway.* Just
practicing my biotics like you asked. *Heaves another container up.* Now I'd
appreciate it, *hurls the container down.* if you'd let me concentrate! *The
container bursts.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus leaned back as he finished rubbing the medi-gel into
his side, closing his eyes. He'd had a wound like this just a few months ago.
It was worse than though, he grimaced as the memories resurfaced...*
*The smell of shit and filth filled the Omega air. Garrus watched from
the shadows as Garm and his flunkies pushed down the hallway... They were going
right into his carefully laid trap. Garm stood at the front, typical Krogan
dominance and overconfidence. He waited, they were close now... He hit a switch,
and a door that had been open slammed shut. A crunch could be heard over the
security feed as one of the Vorcha's feet was caught in it. The Vorcha howled
in pain before one of his comrades let out a shotgun round in his face just to
shut him up. Garm turned, slamming his shoulder against the door, not that it
would do any good. Garrus turned around, pushing down the stairs and into the
room where Garm was slamming his shoulder into the door. Silently, Garrus
pulled out his rifle, his visor interfacing with his helmet as he prepped the
shot. He aimed low, trusting his readout to check the deflection on the Kinetic
Barrier for him. He pulled the trigger, a dozen rounds pouring from the barrel.
He fought to keep the weapon level, and quite a few of the rounds were actually
deflected inside the barrier. A couple glanced the armor, cutting into it in
places, but a few actually pierced through, hitting the flesh beneath. Not
enough unfortunately.*
Jane Shepard
*She's gasping for air, her limbs shaking with biotic
effort. She staggers backwards, hitting the side of the shuttle with a thump.*
Shit. *She slides down the shuttle to the ground, bringing her legs up and
resting her head on her armoured knees. She wasn't a biotic. She wasn't supposed to be biotic. But Cerberus just
couldn't leave well enough alone could they. Maybe Kaidan was right. Maybe she
was some kind of Cerberus freak now. Just another one of those sick experiments
they cooked up in their labs. She lifts her head, looking around at the damage
she caused. No wonder Kaidan hated her. No wonder the others refused to join. /Except
Garrus/ a voice whispered in the back of her mind. Her lips twisted in a
grimace. /He's just here because I saved
him/, she argues back at it. /You know that's not true/ the voice whispers
back, /He called you his friend/. /Well
maybe I don't want to be his friend/ she argues back. /What do you want?/
the voice asks. She doesn't have an answer for that.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garm turned on him, a
snarling roar ripping through the air. "ARCHANGEL!" The Krogan
charged at him, despite the assault rifle that had just ripped his shields to
shreds. Garrus felt the wind get knocked out of him as he got slammed hard, the
krogans massive arm pushing tight against his armor, pinning him against a
wall. Garm was furious, he brought a massive fist up, swinging it down hard and
aiming for the turians head. He wrenched his entire frame sideways, moving just
far enough that Garms fist missed him, slamming into the wall, his fingers
catching the edge of the turians armor. A crack sounded as the metal proved the
stronger force in the equation, and Garm stumbled back, clutching his broken
hand. Garrus only had a second before his secondary nervous system blocked out
the pain and kept him fighting. He charged, throwing all his weight into a
jump, kicking out with both feet at the Krogan, throwing him back. Garrus fell
to the ground too, growling as he was ready for it, scrambling back to his feet
and lunging for his assault rifle.*
Jane Shepard
*She sits in the silent shuttlebay, running over the
confrontation on Horizon again and again. The way Kaidan had looked, how time
had changed him, how quickly his face had changed from happiness to anger...
and not just at her. She blinked. Where had that thought come from? Carefully
now she ran over the conversation again. There had been a moment just a moment
where...
*Kaidan
looks at her, his face twisting into something she didn't completely
understand.* "You're with Cerberus now? How could you?" *His voice rolls
with anger and he casts a sneering glance at her companions. His expression
freezes as he see's Garrus.* "And Garrus is with you?" *There's incredulity
and hurt in his voice now and the look he shoots her is one she recognises.*
"Of course he is" *Kaidan mutters and she knows exactly what he's
thinking. Knows it because she remembers the last time he looked at her that
way.*
Oh. *She barely breathes the
word. The last time she had seen Kaidan, the last time he'd looked at her with
that expression... they'd been on the SR-1. It was after the battle with
Sovereign, after they defeated Saren and the council had sent them hunting the
stars for Geth outposts. They'd been doing well and were coming close to the
end of their journey when he'd approached her. He'd made a move and she'd
rejected him, like she had every other time. This time however he got angry.
Asked her why she wouldn't give him a chance. Why she wouldn't let him show her
what he could do when she'd been fine enough sleeping with 'that damn Turian'.
It had taken her a moment but when she'd finally figured out he was talking
about Garrus she'd burst out laughing. She laughed and laughed and told him he
was crazy and dismissed the whole idea as ridiculous. Only it hadn't gone away.
It hadn't stopped niggling at her. They had
been close and she did enjoy his
company over anyone elses. And gradually the thought had started to creep up on
her that, well, why not? Yes he was a Turian and yes he might not find her
attractive but there was only one way to find out right? So she'd thought and
thought and thought and eventually decided the only real plan would be to talk
to him when they returned to the Citadel. Talk to him and see...*
*She cuts herself off from that
thought. They hadn't returned. She'd died instead and two years had passed. And
it hadn't been a plan really. Not really.
Just an idle thought caused by the jealous rantings of a man who just didn't
understand she was not interested. There was a fluttering in her chest telling
her that she wasn't being entirely truthful with herself but she ignored it.
Ignored it and ignored why it was that she suddenly found herself standing up
and heading towards the exit. She was not
going specifically to see Garrus. She wasn't. But she did need to check on everyone and he just happened to be one of those people. That
was it. Period.*
Garrus Vakarian
*The Krogan charged
him again, forcing him back from his rifle. He pulled out his own shotgun as he
stopped, standing over the assault rifle. As he brought around the shotgun,
Garrus reached out, grabbing the end of it and pushing it past him. The shot
fired out, a bit of the spread catching him in the side. He roared out in pain,
but wrenched the shotgun from the massive Krogan. He brought it around, trying
to fire it but the Krogan's fist found the side of his face, sending him
reeling to the floor. He shook his head, looking back up just in time to avoid
a kick to the gut. He rolled away, springing to his feet, ignoring the wound in
his side. It was superficial, he'd live...*
JaneShepard
*She debated with herself for the entire elevator ride, then
the entire walk through the mess hall, and her entire half hearted conversation
with Gardner and then the rest of the walk to main battery. She was still arguing with herself as she
pressed the holo that caused the main battery doors to swish open. And then she
stopped thinking all together. He wasn't wearing his upper armour. He wasn't
wearing upper anything. She stared at
him, at the extensive plating that covered his extremely broad shoulders and
chest, that curved around his cowl, that trailed down his chest to his narrow
waist. Her eyes trailed his body, noting the areas between plates, where
slivers of skin showed exactly how taught and muscular he really was. She breathed
in sharply and felt her pulse beginning to thud in her veins as the, now
familiar, feeling of warmth that usually only came from his touch spread
through her. Holy. Crap. She was definitely a xenophile.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He felt himself groan, shifting slightly as he heard the
door to the main battery open. He'd drifted off to sleep... He hadn't even
realized it until he'd been pulled awake. He stretched his back, pushing out
his chest and sitting up. Only then did his crystal blue eyes open, falling on
Shepard as she stood in front of him. He froze, staring at her for a long
moment. He realized just how exposed he was, but couldn't bring himself to
move, to dress, he just... stared.*
JaneShepard
*oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. She had been lying to herself.
Lying! She didn't just like Garrus she... she wanted him. Hell it was taking everything in her not to walk over
and see if he'd let her touch these new plates, to compare then with the ones
on his face, to see whether the skin in between was just as soft... Shit! She
locked her fingers together behind her back, to stop herself from trying to do just
that. It didn't stop her eyes though and she ran them over his body again,
before finally reaching his face... and finding him staring at her. Oh no. oh
no, oh no, oh no. He probably thought she was some sort of xenophile perve. /Which
you are/ the voice in her head reminded her. She shoved it away but it was too
late. Blood rushed to her cheeks and for the first time in a long time she
found herself blushing.* Um... hi...
Garrus Vakarian
*His eyes widened at her blush, and his mandibles flexed as
he processed the situation. There he was, just waking up after a short nap,
with Jane, his commanding officer. Him with his armour off, and her sort of...
staring at him. He saw something in her eyes a glint, a gleam... If he didn't
know better, he might think that she liked what she was seeing. /Not a chance Vakarian. She's... JANE! I
mean, there's no way that she'd be attracted to a Turian... to you./ Still,
around any other member of the crew, he wouldn't care. But something about her
gaze made him very aware of his state of dress, and... just a little proud. He
stood up slowly, unsure if he wanted to reach for his armour or see how she
reacted to him. He spoke, his voice quiet to help hide what was really going on
in his head.* Hey.
Jane Shepard
*/He's tall/. It's
the first thought that enters her head. It seems like such a stupid thing to
notice right now, when he's half naked and, oh god, taking a step closer but
suddenly it’s a fact that seems very important. He's tall... and his shoulders
are broad and he really does tower over her but... in a good way. In a very good way. She has to fight down an
instinct to take a step closer to him, to see how he would react to that. He
doesn't seem to be upset at catching her staring at him. If anything his eyes
are intently focused, like he's trying to figure out something very important.
She feels the blush growing and drops her gaze... and sees the streaks of blue
blood along his side for the first time. Shit. He'd been hurt. Her fingers
unlock and without thinking she's closed the distance between them, hands
reaching out to examine him, voice laced with worry.* You're hurt! What
happened?
Garrus Vakarian
*He watched her reaction carefully, and for a moment, he
considered putting himself out there. He opened his mouth, ready to tell her
how he really felt, to express himself and damn the consequences later... Then
she noticed his now healed wound, her fingers touch was electric on his skin
though, doubly so on the tender, recently healed flesh. He didn't want to say
anything, he wanted to prolong the moment of her touching him again. But he
relented, knowing it would look off if he remained silent.* Just a scratch, I already
put some medi-gel on it... *He murmured, his thoughts still almost entirely
focused on her fingers touching the soft skin between his plates. His talons
twitched, and he wondered idly how her skin would feel... Humans were softer
than Turians, and he'd never really had any experience just... touching them.
He held himself in check though, not knowing quite sure how things were playing
out still.*
Jane Shepard
*She's careful in her examination. He twitches slightly when
she gets too close to the wound edge so she carefully places her hands on
either side, one on his upper plating, the other on the surprisingly soft skin
between plates at his waist. She's just glad that she took off her gauntlets
down in the shuttle bay, so she can examine him properly with her fingers.
She's very close to him now as she examines the wound. He's right. It was just
a graze, but the sight of his blood has thrown her, evoking a memory of the
smell of charred flesh and his blood pouring everywhere. She glances up at him and
stills, only realising right at this moment how close to him she is and the
fact that her hands have been running all over his body.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He is surprised when her hands begin to wander. His
mandibles stretch slightly in the turian version of a smile though, and he
reaches up, deciding that if she was going to be so bold, he could take a risk
too. He reached a hand up, hesitating now though. If he was wrong, and she was
just making sure he was okay... He'd been wrong before, and it had cost him a
lot.* Jane... *He murmured, the first time he'd completely said her first name
out loud. It felt good, and... it meant something for him to say. It meant that
he saw her as more than his commander, more than as a friend. He saw her as...
more.*
Jane Shepard
*She freezes all over as he says her name. Steps back from
him, more on instinct than anything else. No-one
used her first name anymore. Not since she stopped using it after Akuze.
Stammers* Wh... what did you just say?
Garrus Vakarian
*He reeled himself in immediately, stepping back and
coughing.* I... Sorry. Shepard... *He cursed himself, that's what he got for
trying to step out of his comfort zone... He felt suddenly very stupid. It had
been completely platonic after all. He shifted uncomfortably, sure that things
would become very awkward between them now...*
Jane Shepard
*/Shit. Well done
Shepard you just scared the guy off for good. He just called you by your first
name, what the hell is so wrong with that? Here you are wondering if he cares
and the moment he shows any sign that maybe he actually does, you flip out on
him. Good job Commander, another fine example of exactly how messed up you are.
Now fix it before things are completely ruined.../*
*She steps forward and grabs his
arm as he steps further away.* No wait! *Her fingers tighten slightly.* I'm
sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I, you just caught me off guard is all.
No-one's called me Jane since... well for a very long time. *Gives him a
tentative smile.* I don't mind though. If it's you that does it.
Garrus Vakarian
*He watched her hand on his arm a moment, stopping at her
command. He looked slowly up to her as her fingers tightened, his mandibles
flexing nervously. Her words helped him to relax a little, and he reached up,
touching her hand on his arm gently, nodding slightly at her words as he took
it all in slowly. He could feel the tension ebbing away as he felt closer to
her... His eyes staring down at her as he spoke now, with a little more
confidence.* ... I'd like that. To call you Jane... *It wasn't exactly what he
wanted to say, and he felt stupid saying it the way that he had, but it was out
there now, up for her interpretation.*
Jane Shepard
*She takes in a shaky breath, feeling more vulnerable in
this moment then she can recall feeling since Mindoir. His talons are resting
lightly on her hand and she feels a shiver run up her arm. Manages a nod.* Okay
then.
Garrus Vakarian
*He watches her, nodding slightly and letting his hand fall.
That was all he was going to get it seemed, and... it was enough for him. He
wasn't as... tense now, but at the same time, he was even more so. He didn't
pull his arm from her grip, still relishing the feeling of her touch. It was
different for him. He was used to only feeling the cold metal of his armor
against his flesh, or the rough leather that lined the inside, but this was...
pleasant. Something he could grow accustomed to very easily.*
Jane Shepard
*She's disappointed when his hand lowers and lets go of his
arm in return.* Ah, sorry about... *Waves a hand at his chest, trying to
indicate her rather extensive moment of touching his body.* I hope I didn't
make you uncomfortable. *The pink returns to her cheeks and, now that's she's
had a moment to process, she can't help but remember the feel of rough plate
and soft skin on her fingertips.* It's just... I meant to check the wound and
well... *trails off, fidgeting on the spot. Completely unable to say 'I
couldn't stop myself from running my fingers all over you, and I think I might
be some kind of Turian deviant or something, although I don't remember wanting
to touch any others I've met and well would it be okay if I do it again?'.
Instead she just turns redder.*
Garrus Vakarian
*A blue tint rose quickly as she brought up her exploration
of his chest, and he could swear that he looked like... what was it called
again? A blueberry? Well, he would if his face was more round anyways. He
looked to the side, considering just brushing it off but... he felt bolder now,
and despite his perceived snafu earlier, he spoke up about it.* Well... *His
mandibles flexed nervously, and he looked over at the Thanix as he muttered the
next line.* I honestly didn't mind... *He fidgeted nervously, his mandibles
flexing and relaxing as he waited for her reaction.*
Jane Shepard
*She doesn't think she's ever going to stop blushing at this
point.* Oh... *musters up her courage.* I've never really touched Turian
plating before. It's... different. The skin between is so soft, almost as much
as mine.
Garrus Vakarian
*He turns back to look at her, seeing the blush on her face
grow even brighter. He thought that by Turian standards, he probably looked
much the same. Her words triggered something in him though, and without really
thinking he asked.* Would you mind if I... *He trailed off, his fingers itching
to touch her skin now, but he refrained... and then realization hit him, and he
got VERY blue, raising a hand quickly* Not that I'm asking to touch your chest
of course! I know that's a very personal thing for human women... I just meant
your skin, and uh... now that sounds weird. Forget I asked, I'm sorry... *He
shifted now, hoping she wouldn't get upset at him for what he'd said. /Great job Garrus. Really great. Could you
shove your foot any further down your mouth? I don't think it's quite coming
out your ass yet.../*
Jane Shepard
*She blinks at him and then the next thing she knows she's
laughing. She can't help it. It's just.... so damn adorable seeing the usually cocky Turian turn into a stammering
mess over an inadvertent comment. She's still laughing as she waves off his
apology and begins undoing the top half of her armour. She's got a body suit on
underneath so she's not really exposing anything beyond her arms, a good
portion of her collarbone and her neck. She piles her armour neatly to one side
and then turns back to him, suddenly feeling as self conscious as if she were
naked, not wearing a tank top like suit.*
Garrus Vakarian
*His blush grew as she laughed, and he felt more than a
little embarrassed. Without a word though, she started removing her armour, and
he couldn't help but stand transfixed... He'd never really been one for human
girls. The appeal never really got to him but, staring at Jane, he could see it
now. He stepped forward, raising his hand up slowly. He hesitated though,
frowning slightly to himself. Was this right? The right time... the right
place... He cast those thoughts aside though as he saw the look on her face.
She was worried now, about being exposed like this for him. He didn't want her
to feel like he didn't like what he saw here, so he pushed past his hesitation
with a nod to her.* May I...?
Jane Shepard
*She bites her lip as he asks permission, his voice low and
flanged. She's always had a thing about that voice. It was... something, even
compared to other Turians. She feels a flush go through her body and rather
sharply tells her hormones to shut the hell down. Now was not the time. It wasn't like that. He was just... curious. That was
all. To him* Ah, sure. *Forces a weak smile.* Seems only fair. I did practically
molest you just now. *She shuts her mouth abruptly. Really? Really? That's what she chooses to say?*
Garrus Vakarian
*He winced a little at her most obviously forced expression,
but nods slightly. He reached out, very tenderly touching her arm slowly. He
let his fingers explore her skin, slowly trailing up and down her arm from
shoulder to elbow. He murmured softly without realizing it.* So soft... *He marvelled
at the elasticity of it as he slowly trailed his hand higher, along her neck
and collar bone. He could feel the sinewy muscles underneath taut in her neck,
not dissimilar from a Turians. Over the collarbone his hand travelled now, the
hard bone providing a stark contrast to where he began on her arm.*
Jane Shepard
*His touch felt like it was trailing fire up her and it took
everything she had not to shiver under his talons. She locked her body down,
not daring to move, hoping he couldn't see how her pulse was starting to thud
in her veins, how her breath had quickened inadvertently...*
Garrus Vakarian
*He was too absorbed in the sensation of her skin under his
digits to notice the subtle changes to her as he found himself unintentionally
leaning closer. He pulled his hand back though as he began to near anywhere
that Jane might take offense to... he wasn't sure exactly how much freedom he
had been given here, and didn't want to overstep any bounds. He looked up at
her, and noticed her quickened breathing, and a slightly glazed look to her
eyes... it wasn't something he recognized and he wasn't about to take any
chances, not with her. The tips of his talons still tingled, and he wanted
nothing more than to reach out and continue his own exploration of her body. /Oh yeah, never saying THAT one out loud./
his mind chided, but he pushed it aside, watching her for a reaction, focused
entirely on her right now...*
Jane Shepard
*Shit. He was so close now. She could actually feel his
breath caressing her face. She locked her fingers behind her back for safety
but it didn't stop her lips from tingling every time he exhaled. Taloned
fingers traced their way across her skin and she could see how absorbed he was
in what he was doing. She had his complete and utter focus and if that didn't
make it all that much hotter under her skin... Abruptly he pulled away and she
blinked. But now he was looking at her and it wasn't disgust she saw in his
gaze but a question. Oh. He was wondering if she was okay with what he was
doing. She bit back the urge to say hell yes.. or please.. or to just press
herself against him... and instead managed a small, firm, nod.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He saw her nod, rigid and firm. He knew that wasn't a good
sign... How was she viewing the situation right now? Like he was? Did she see
this as them growing closer together, or as an overly curious Turian using her
as a free xenobiology lesson? He hesitated, unsure if he should voice his
concern. /But/ he thought, /Actions speak louder than words. Show her
how you feel Garrus. Don't screw this one up./ He took a slow breath,
reaching his hand out again and gently touching her waist. Here it was both
tight and soft, yielding to the touch, but only so much. He gently probed
around it, and his first thought was that it was very... supportive.*
Jane Shepard
*He was poking her waist. For a moment she was almost
disbelieving and then... then she wanted to laugh. What did she expect? That
upon getting permission to continue he would suddenly discover he found humans,
found her attractive and would pull her close to him... to better explore her
body. She felt disappointment well in her but at the same time her muscles
slowly loosened and she was able to take a long slow breath. /You're an idiot Shepard. A total idiot. It's
just like you said. He's merely curious./ That thought in mind she twisted
her body slightly, allowing him a better look at the waist he seemed to find so
fascinating.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He watched her twist under his hands, and realized just how
flexible humans could be... He'd never really thought about it before, their
movements seemed rigid. Only now he was realizing that was more because of the armour
than any fault on their part. He glanced up at her, and saw something different
in her face, and he wasn't quite sure what it was. Reading humans was still an
art that continued to elude him. Instead of pushing any further, he pulled his
hands back, coughing a little and stepping back.* I... Thanks Jane. I'm sorry
if I made you uncomfortable... I just... I had to ask I guess... *He wanted to
throw himself into this, really he did. He wanted to just say exactly how he
felt, but at this exact moment, a loud pinging noise came from his terminal. He
glanced at it immediately, but looked back to Jane first.*
Jane Shepard
*She can't help the sigh that slips out. Well it looked like
she had her answer. Her shoulders slump and suddenly she's exhausted. The
events of the day, the battle on Horizon, Kaidan and now the ultimate
realization that her feelings towards Garrus were completely pointless, have
left her feeling oddly numb. She shrugs a shoulder as she turns, reaching for
her armour. Quietly* It wasn't a problem Garrus. You didn't make me
uncomfortable at all.
Garrus Vakarian
*He couldn't stop himself as he reached out, cupping her
cheek in his hand softly as she got quiet. Even he wasn't oblivious to certain
things, and he could see the disappointment in her movements. He wanted so much
to lean in and show her exactly how he felt. He leaned closer to her, ready to
do exactly that, when the terminal pinged two more times. He stopped, closing
his eyes and suppressing a growl...*
Jane Shepard
*Her breath catches in her throat as he reaches out and cups
her cheek in one taloned hand. Warmth floods her as he stares at her intently.
Slowly, almost painfully so, he leaned in towards her. Her heart is pounding so
loud that she can't see how he can't hear it and her body feels like its
zapping with energy. He bends in close and... the console beeps. They both
freeze and he closes his eyes in apparent frustration. She almost steps back,
almost leaves him to it but then she feels it. The barest tremor of a vibration
down his arm. A growl he didn't quite suppress. She sucks in a another quick
breath at the sensation and then stops thinking all together. She closes the gap
between them, reaching up her hands to his mandibles and pulling him in so she
can press her lips against his hard mouth.*
Garrus Vakarian
*His eyes snap open as she kisses him, his mandibles flexing
against her palms. This was new. Something he remembered seeing on the citadel
from time to time. Something humans did... /Kissing...
that's what they called it./ He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling
her closer to him as he tried to mimic her movements awkwardly... /This is going to take some practice I think./
The terminal pings yet again, but this time he's completely oblivious to it,
focusing entirely on her, on the sensation of her pressed against him, of her
lips, of her fingers holding his mandibles. All of it overwhelmed him... and he
loved it.*
Jane Shepard
*His lips are hard and still against hers and this close to
him she can't miss the way he tenses up all over, or the way his mandibles flex
against her hands. For the briefest moment she panics. What the hell did she
think she was doing? First she gropes him, now she's pushed herself on him and
hell, Turians probably didn't even kiss, and he's the best friend she has, and
he's probably wondering how to get out of this very awkward... and then strong
arms wrap around her and everything changes. He pulls her closer and she can't
help but move her mouth against his. He copies the gesture, mandibles
fluttering against her hands and her cheeks. His mouth isn't malleable like
hers, plated as it is, but there is a softness there, just under the lip plate
and she finds herself running her tongue gently across it.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He can't hide a soft purring sound as her tongue finds the
sensitive part of his mouth, and his eyes shut. He slips his own dexterous
tongue out, snaking it along hers. His talons dug into her skin gently, pulling
her right up against him now as he continued trying to return her kiss. His
breathing quickened, his heart raced as they continued the kiss. /This is something I could DEFINITELY get
used to./*
Jane Shepard
*Oh. God. The things he was doing with his tongue... A small
mewling noise escapes her as he pulls her in close, talons digging lightly into
her flesh. There's a low almost growling purr coming from his chest and the
vibrations seem to reverberate through her as her hands creep up and behind his
head.*
*There's the beep of his terminal
again and she's all set to ignore it when her comm suddenly activates and
Miranda's voice booms over the two of them.* "Commander?"
Garrus Vakarian
*The terminal isn't even registered at this point. Miranda's
voice though, cuts through the haze and he pulls himself back from this. His
face is flushed and he tenses more, searching her, trying his best to remember
every expression, every subtle movement he'd ever learned about humans. He knew
that she couldn't ignore Miranda's message. She was, every inch, still
Commander Shepard. But for that brief instant, with him in this room... she'd
just been Jane.*
Jane Shepard
*She stares at him, unable to believe that she had just been
kissing Garrus Vakarian. Kissing him and enjoying
it. She's still in his arms and he's looking at her just as intently when
Miranda comms her again. In a strangled tone she replies.* Yes?
"Commander the Shuttle Bay
is a complete mess. What happened down here?'
*Oh. She’d forgotten about. She'd
been... diverted since.* Right, sorry. Something came up while I was
...practicing, that required my immediate attention. I'll be down to clear it
all away shortly. *She hangs up the comm and looks up at Garrus, completely
unsure what to do now. What was he thinking? Did he even completely understand
what had just occurred? Did she?*
Garrus Vakarian
*He shifts uncomfortably, watching her as she spoke with
Miranda. She seemed surprised, then a little guilty... She'd done something,
but he dismissed it quickly. That was her choice, her ship. He was more
interested in afterwards, when she looked at him. He searched her features, but
he couldn't read anything. Damn racial barriers... He coughed, but looked away
from her.* So... *What else was there to say? What COULD he say at a time like
this... /Come on Garrus, say SOMETHING./*
That was new... */Great. That's what you
say? You're a gorram idiot Garrus. A GORRAM IDIOT./*
Jane Shepard
*He was uncomfortable. She'd made him uncomfortable. Great. /Well
done Shepard, lose control of your hormones for a moment and look what happens./
She steps back from him, trying to give him distance.* Right. *Her voice comes
out as her Commanders tone and she shakes her head, frustrated at herself. Her next words are more her.* Damn, *Pinches
the bridge of her nose.* Look I'm sorry Garrus. I shouldn't have just... I
didn't have the right to...
*She makes a noise at the back of
her throat, frustrated and annoyed at herself, at this situation, at the fact
that she had really, really enjoyed
what she'd done.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He winced a little at her tone, but she started cursing
herself and apologizing to him... /Wait,
she's... sorry?/ He stared at her for just a moment, stepping closer, but
stopping himself as his terminal pinged yet again. He looked over at it,
sighing softly and looking back to her.* Jane... I... I didn't... *He took a
deep breath, closing his eyes and flexing his mandibles wide as he prepared
himself for what he wanted to say. He opened his crystal blue eyes, staring
down at hers as he spoke this time, very softly.* I liked it, and I certainly
won't be complaining anytime soon.
Jane Shepard
*Her eyes are wide as she looks back at him.* I... good.
*She's stuck, completely unsure what to say, completely unsure how to put
together this Garrus with the best friend Garrus in her head and completely and
totally unsure on what the hell her next move should be. The terminal beeps
again and her brow furrows.* You should probably get that.
Garrus Vakarian
*He wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to say or do at
this point. Her reaction is completely foreign to him... He sighed a little,
stepping back. He felt like he'd pushed too hard, that he'd gone too far and
made the space between them even wider than it already was. He was still
Archangel, not Garrus. No matter how much he might want to be Garrus, he
couldn't just yet...* You're right... *He stepped over to his chest plate,
lifting it up and setting it on the cot carefully.* You should probably go take
care of the shuttle bay anyways...
Jane Shepard
*Awkward.* Probably. *Reaches down and collects the last of
her own armour, snapping it into place with practiced ease. Stiffly.* I left my
gauntlets down there anyway.
Garrus Vakarian
*He nodded slightly as he sealed his own armour in place,
turning and giving her a brief nod.* Right then... *He stepped past her
quickly, the tension was palpable in the air... He opened the terminal, going
to his messages to see who was so insistently trying to contact him...*
Jane Shepard
*She turns away and leaves without another word. It's not
till she's in the elevator that she takes a moment to think. What the hell just
happened? One moment they were kissing and the next, they're acting like they'd
been interrupted while talking about gun maintenance or something. And how did
they even get to kissing in the first place? She rests her head against the
elevator wall. God, what a mess. /His
tongue twines with hers as taloned hands pull her close. She moans, digging her
fingernails into him. She'd never known it could feel like this.../ She
blinks. Dammit. She'd been with people before. Humans naturally. But never
anything long-term and never with someone who she trusted like she trusts
Garrus. This, this breaks the pattern of any relationship she's had before and
all they had done was kiss for christ sake! And then acted like... like it
meant nothing. /Well maybe it doesn't/
the voice in her head whispers. /It was
just one kiss/. Her stomach rolls at the thought and she turns, leaning her
back against the elevator wall. What the hell are you playing at Shepard? Do
you even know?*
Garrus Vakarian
*The message opened on his screen, and he read through it
carefully. Sidonis' trail had finally taken it's next turn. A man named Fade
had helped him disappear on the Citadel. A new life, a new name... He growled,
anger welling up deep inside him. He was going to get away with this?! Not even
a slap on the wrist?! He roared in frustration, slamming his fist down on the
table. He winced as he felt his bones take the hit, but nothing quite broke.*
No... *He reached up, rubbing his hands together. He could see his reflection
in the silver metal of the table, and he didn't see Garrus. He saw Archangel...
He sighed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. He couldn't be the man she
remembered... not until after things were settled. He made a promise to
himself. After Sidonis, after that was settled... He'd tell her how he felt. No
more holding himself back, no more second guessing himself. If she didn't feel
the same way, he'd live with that. But he wouldn't hide anymore. Not behind the
mask of Archangel, not behind military rank or anything else. He would be
Garrus Vakarian. He looked over the messages again, and he found a way to make
things work. To meet with Fade... He'd get the information from him. he'd find
Sidonis and put a bullet through his skull. After that, he'd hang up the mantle
of Archangel.*
*Recording Begins*
Recovered Recording Number #1
File Uploaded: 2186-05-27
Original Recording Location: Cerberus Vessel SR-2 Normandy
Original Recording Time: After the location and extraction of Tank Krogan Urdnot Grunt
Recording of: Vigilante Garrus Vakarian, Cerberus Agent/ Spectre Jane Shepard.
*Recording Begins*
Jane Shepard
*She walks down the long corridor
towards main battery. Honestly, she wasn't even sure why she was bothering at
this point. It's not like Garrus even bothered to turn his head to acknowledge
her. And yet... she kept hoping. Hoping that maybe he would turn around. Hoping
that maybe he'd look back. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, she hadn't completely
lost the friend she'd had two years ago.
She reached the battery door and pressed the holo, making them swoosh
open.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus traced his talon over the
haptic interface, it's orange glow like flames... He blinked, and for an
instant, he could feel the searing flames from the rocket on his face again,
the shrapnel tearing his flesh and plates as he fell backwards, blood pouring
down his side. He choked on it, barely able to breath as he heard Shepard
calling his name. His eyes snapped open, his breathing hard and his fists
clenched. Even though it had only been for a second, the moment had a profound
effect on him. He unclenched his hands, taking a moment as the doors slid open.
He couldn't show any weakness, any pain from that moment. He wouldn't be fit
for duty if he did. He glanced back over his shoulder, continuing what he had
been doing before as he saw Shepard in the doorway. He traced his fingers over
the interface, still trying to keep his talons from shaking. He didn't trust
himself to speak yet, so he waited for her to initiate a conversation first, if
that was why she was here...*
Jane Shepard
*He knows she's here. She saw him
check. And yet, just like every other time, he turned back to that damn holo
screen. She felt something in her clench but she rained it back. Forced a
normal tone.* Garrus. Got a minute?
Garrus Vakarian
*He took a slow, silent breath,
turning to face her. His front was impenetrable. Especially to a human. Shepard
hadn't spent nearly enough time analysing their facial expressions to get a
clear read, or so he'd learned. He spoke, managing to avoid any kind of shake
to his voice.* Sure, I've got a little time. What can I do for you Shepard?
Jane Shepard
*She's surprised. She hadn't
actually expected him to turn around. Hell she'd been debating how
unprofessional it would be to punch him in the shoulder and storm off. Instead
she's now faced with the prospect of trying to talk to someone who, in what
feels like mere months to her, has somehow managed to become an entirely
different person. She eyes him. Turian features aren't the easiest things for
humans to read but she's pretty sure the way the mandibles were held was meant
to mean... something. She shakes off the thought and then realises she's been
silent for too long. Covers it by walking over to the nearby crates and leaning
against them.* Just wanting to see how you're doing. We haven't had much of a
chance to talk since... I came back.
Garrus Vakarian
He nodded slightly, still not...
quite over looking at her. It was like watching a ghost step through the world.
A woman he had thought dead, had mourned... Still mourned... now she stood
before him, exactly as he remembered. He had changed, a lot. But... A lingering
attachment remained for him. He chalked it up to loyalty, and said as much out
loud, but a part of him, a large part, knew that there was something more to
it... He watched her, not as a soldier, but as a woman. He shook the thoughts
from his head. What was he thinking?! She was the Commander! She was Shepard!
There's no way she would... He pushed those thoughts from his mind, focusing on
her, and trying to remain somewhat casual.* I'm alright. Bit better looking
now, by krogan standards, but no worse for wear. Heard you woke up the Krogan.
Hope his attitude is better than Okeer's...
Jane Shepard
*She chuckles lightly at his
words and, before she thinks it through, finds herself saying.* Hey not just by
Krogan standards. *She almost blinks as she hears the words come out of her
mouth. Where the hell had that comment come from? Chooses to ignore it.
Continues.* He calls himself Grunt. It's kinda amusing actually. Attacks me
right out of the gate and then submits to being part of my... what was the
word? Krant? *shakes her head, folding her arms.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He arched a browplate at her
comment, but she brushed it aside so quickly he figured there was nothing to
it. He felt a small drop, somewhere inside of him, but ignored it. He let her
continue, chuckling as she recalled the tale.* Sounds like the little guy
didn't know quite what he was getting into. Well, not sure I can call him
little... *He shook his head softly, looking away from her for a moment, out at
the guns. He wondered idly for a moment how the Krogan would deal with the rest
of the crew...* As long as he doesn't go around marking territory or fighting
for dominance, I think we'll get along just fine.
Jane Shepard
*Raises an eyebrow* Not sure I'd
want to know how a Krogan 'marks his territory'. *She's watching him, without appearing to.
Trying to reacquaint herself with all the little mannerisms that, to her mind,
are so uniquely 'Garrus'. They are there, some of them, like flashes of someone
else under the vigilante mask. Frankly she doesn't know what would be more
jarring. The feeling that the person she knew is in there somewhere, or the
realisation that who he was, is gone forever.*
Garrus Vakarian
*His mandibles twitch as he
remembers some of his... less glamorous days at C-sec, shaking his head
softly.* Trust me, that's a question you don't want answered... *He lifts
himself up off the console, looking back over at her. He didn't notice her
watching him, he wasn't that adept at human body language either. His mandibles
twitched as an awkward silence fell between them...*
Jane Shepard
*She rubs her neck awkwardly. If
this was the old Normandy they'd be leaning together against that console,
cracking jokes, making fun of each other... But this /isn't/ the old Normandy,
she reminds herself for the hundredth time. And he /isn’t/ the Garrus she
remembers. And hell, /she/ isn't even the same person she used to be. Well...
not physically anyway. She shifts her position. And who knows what he really
thinks about all that either.*
*Thinking like
this isn't helping the conversation move along. A memory flares and she fights
a wince. It /would/ be something to talk about, and she'd put it off for far
too long... Although she's not entirely sure why. But every time she's meant to
bring it up something in her just /flares/ and she's found an excuse not to.
He's still recovering, he looks busy, they're in the middle of a war zone...
She sighs. Time to bite the bullet. Keys up her OT.* I have a message for you.
From Dr Chloe Michels. Sorry it's, uh, late. I kept forgetting. *she mutters
the last bit as she sends it to him.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He watched her move for a
minute, the neck rub he recognized. Nervous. Humans did it in the interrogation
room all the time... Was something wrong? He wanted to ask, but felt out of
place doing so. What if it was a personal matter? He would still want to know,
but he didn't want to make things more awkward by talking about it and being
wrong... He let it go, and he could see the very slightest cringe on her face.
Something she didn't like bubbling up. Her sigh only helped to confirm that
theory, and he watched as she brought up her omni-tool. He opens his own,
listening as she tells him the name.* Who? *He receives the message, pulling it
up on his omni-tool to read.*
Jane Shepard
*She's watching him carefully as
he does. She's not blind and even if she was the doctors intentions were fairly
obvious. She's just not sure why it bothers her so much.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He reads through the message a
minute, then closes it out.* Oh, her. Right. I guess I didn't bother getting my
old extranet inbox forwarded after I became Archangel... it was just easier to
drop off the face of the earth. She usually filled up my inbox though, I just
stopped reading them after a week. That was... *He paused a second, unsure if
he should continue.* ... back on the old Normandy.
Jane Shepard
*She's interested at that little
tidbit.* I didn't know that. Although I suppose we didn't talk much at first.
You were too busy calling me Commander and hiding out under the Mako. *For a
moment she's her old self, teasing him like always, and then... then it all
comes rushing back and her smile falters. She leans back again, suddenly unsure
whether she's crossed a line.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He lets a smirk fall through,
shaking his head softly.* Well, it was the only place Ashley wasn't bitching me
out or Wrex wasn't ready to rip my arms off...
Jane Shepard
*She laughs* Oh god, Ash. It took
her so damn long to ease up around you guys. You know she once told me she'd
jump as high as I wanted but she sure as hell hoped I wasn't going to make her
kiss a Turian. *Her smile falters again. Why the hell was she bringing that up?
She certainly wasn't going to mention the way the thought had plagued her for
the rest of the week, wondering if Turians even could kiss. Drags her thoughts
back from /that/ sharply.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He arched a browplate, stepping
back and crossing his arms across his chest. His mandibles pulled taught, into
the turian version of a grin.* Well, good for me then that I wouldn't even
consider kissing Ashley.
Jane Shepard
*And now she's brought right back
to wondering if Turians can kiss. Great. That's going to plague her thoughts
from now on. Shakes it off and makes herself grin* Oh? Wrex more your type?
*Keep it light, teasing. Don't give him a reason to shut you out again.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He visibly shuddered at her
comment, shaking his head softly.* Not even close. I prefer a more... beautiful
subject. Wait, that sounded shallow. I mean beautiful internally. Wrex is more
of a... rock covering a bucket full of piranha's. I mean, sure it looks
appealing if you like that kind of thing, but it's going to take a very special
kind of woman to break in that guy...
Jane Shepard
*She bursts out laughing at his
description. Still chuckling, she uncrosses her arms so that she can lean back
on them. She's visibly more relaxed now and the look she gives him is almost
fond.* Sounds like it would take a pretty impressive woman to turn your head
Vakarian.
Garrus Vakarian
*He felt an urge to say it did.
He blinked, mandibles twitching very slightly in surprise as he realized
that... He wanted to say something to her about it, but...* I guess so... *He
mumbled to himself but loud enough that she could hear it.*
Jane Shepard
I... sorry. Probably not my place
to say something like that. *She shifts, unhappy again. It used to feel like
she could talk to him about anything.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He groaned softly, reaching up
and rubbing his browplates* No, it's not that. I'm sorry. I just... I'm still
getting used to having you back around J-- Shepard... *He hoped that she
wouldn't catch his slip, shaking his head and regaining himself.* It is, of
course. As a... *He faltered at the word. He knew what he should say, but found
it wasn't what he wanted to say...* A... friend. *He nodded slightly,
reassuring himself that was what he had meant.*
Jane Shepard
*She's getting more uncomfortable
as he speaks, and is considering that it might be best if she just leaves, when
he calls her a friend. Her eyes widen and she finds herself straightening up
from where she leans. For the first time she meets his gaze fully, her human
shade of blue eyes looking into his crystal blue ones. Her face doesn't show
her hesitation, but there's something in the way she looks at him. Carefully,
trying not to show how important this is, she asks.* ...Are we still? Friends
that is. It's... well, its been years for... you.
Garrus Vakarian
*He paused at her words, his
frown deepening as she spoke... it wasn't a thought that had occurred to him.
Had enough happened between them that they weren't the same people they had
known before? Could he reconcile the Shepard from his memory with the woman who
stood before him. He thought for a moment, but closed his eyes.* You're just
like I remember Shepard. I... never really managed to mourn you properly. No
closure no... Yeah. I'm willing to still be your friend. If you want me to be
that is. You see I'm... not exactly like I used to be. I'm not the same Turian
you knew back when we fought Saren. Not entirely. But... at the same time, I'm
still that guy. Just older, there's... more to me. Things you missed. But if
you wanted, I would help you catch up.
Jane Shepard
*She takes a hesitant step
closer* Of course I want to Garrus, you're... sorry *closes her eyes and takes
a deep breath* you /were/ one of my closest friends. *Her eyes open and she
looks back at him. There is a faint trace of her infamous smirk lighting up her
lips.* And I'm not blind. I can see that you’re different. *For a moment her
eyes trace his scars, the first time she's had a chance to really look at
them.* So you're... older. So what. Just means we are closer in age now... or
something like that. *half shrugs* And as for the other stuff... what's
happened to you... yeah I want to know. If you're willing to tell me.
Garrus Vakarian
*He chuckles very softly, almost
a dry laugh, but there's a hint of something real there.* You know, looking on
it now... It almost feels like just yesterday that I was fixing the Mako up
after you drove it off some cliff, squashing a Geth underneath it... That's how
it feels now anyways. While I was on Omega though, all that seemed like such a
distant dream. Like my life before was just a... haze. *He didn't miss her
eying his fresh scars, and he turned his head to give her a better look.* So,
in all honesty, how's it look? I mean, it's not every day I get to ask that
question, and really there's no one else on board I'd consider asking... Mordin
mentioned that I should keep it clean to risk infection. Joker just said that
made some asinine joke about someone called Two-Face from human literature? Not
sure about that one still. I don't even really want to consider asking the
Cerberus op's what they think... And to be frank, your yeoman scares me a
little.
Jane Shepard
*A grin hitches on her face at
that.* Yeah I wouldn't go to near her. Kelly, uh, likes aliens. Like, really
likes them. And she's already expressed an interest in you. *In an almost
absent tone as she looks over his scars.* I told her to back off. *Steps up so
that she's right next to them and reaches out before pausing. Looks at him.*
May I?
Garrus Vakarian
*He arches a browplate in
surprise when she mentions having told Kelly to back off. He thought, just for
a moment, that there might have been a hint of... possessiveness in her tone.
But he dismissed the idea quickly as she got up. No room for idle flights of
fancy. He leaned closer to give her a better look, nodding slightly as she
asked if she could touch them.*
Jane Shepard
*His skin is...warm. With a
sudden jolt of surprise she realises that this is the first time, barring hasty
slapping on of medi-gel in the middle of battle, that she's actually touched
him. With gentle fingers she carefully examines the wound, human fingers able
to explore a lot more than his Turian talons would. She's as careful as she can
be and finds herself slightly marvelling at the differences between where there
is plating and where there is softer skin. She runs her fingers down his
damaged mandible and realises with surprise that the skin underneath it is as
soft as her own. Fascinated and, for a moment, forgetting what it is she's
supposed to be doing, she gives it a stroke.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He doesn't wince, her gentle
touch over the tender skin just light enough to avoid hurting him. His eyes
widen as she finds the softer, sensitive skin under his mandible, touching it
gently. His eyes close, and he inhales slowly, silently. He can feel a soft
vibration in his chest from the sensation, a sound that tries desperately to
escape but he refuses to let it out. He didn't want the situation to become
awkward again, so he played innocent, letting her take her time.*
Jane Shepard
*She's taking too long and she
knows it but for some reason she doesn't feel inclined to stop. His skin is
warm, the plating an oddly rough contrast and as she brushes over it, it almost
seems to make her skin tingle. She can't remember the last time she was this
close to him and as he exhales it stirs up the hairs on the back of her neck.
She glances up at him and the reality of the situation comes crashing back
down. There he is, standing eyes closed, trusting her to examine his wounds and
here she is doing... what /was/ she doing? She yanks her hands back, looping
them behind her. Takes a step away. Forces a casual tone, even as her mind runs
in a loop of 'What the hell are you doing? What's the matter with you? And why
do you want to do it again?'* Looks good to me.
Garrus Vakarian
*Her touch is electric to his
skin. Each soft stroke, each gentle prod sends a new wave of the sensation he
couldn't quite place coursing through him. Then, she pulls away quickly, and
his eyes snap open as he looks at her. He sees her stance, rigid again. Her
voice sounds casual, but he can hear the strained tone to it. He wondered if
he'd made some subtle sign showing that he had enjoyed her touch, offended her
in some way. But if he hadn't, he didn't want to make things worse... He turned
to her, nodding slightly. He hadn't quite meant how it looked healthily, which
was how he interpreted what she said. Everyone else had been telling him that
much. He wanted to know what she thought of it, aesthetically, not that he
could say it aloud. He paused as he realized he wanted to know what /she/
thought. Not what other people did, but what she thought of it... He inclined
his head slightly, trying to face her to keep from letting the blue tint in his
mandibles show as he responded to her.* Right, glad to hear it. *He wasn't
quite sure what to say next. Everything still felt fairly awkward for him as he
tried to avoid letting her see the sides of his mandibles.*
Jane Shepard
*he seems... almost embarrassed,
if she's reading the way he's holding his mandibles right. Although she could
be wrong. She was always rather terrible at Turian expressions. It's all so
subtle, the widening of the mandibles here, the way they tighten there... at least
with Krogan they just say what they think and get it over and done with.*
*Shoving down
her own reaction to what she is beginning to suspect may have been an extended
grope on her part, she eyes him carefully. Is it just her or is there the
slightest blue tinge to his mandibles? She thinks it over, replaying his
request and finally realises what he was really asking. Oh. Well if he wants to
know then she had best be honest. She schools her face as well as she can and
just hopes like hell she doesn't blush.* They look good Garrus. *Her tone is
softer this time, more persuasive.* Don't ask me how but you actually pull off
that bad ass vigilante look. *She lets her tone lighten some, lets a teasing
note enter as she continues.* It makes you look all roguishly handsome. *And
that's it. That's where she has to stop. It wasn't the first time that thought
had crossed her mind and like hell she was ever going to admit that.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He lets out a chuckle, a hand
rubbing the back of his neck as he nods. He stands up straighter now, a little
more confident. This was the Shepard that he remembered. The one he followed
through hell and back in the fight against Saren. The one that he knew he could
relate to properly... His mandibles flexed as he built his confidence back up.
She hadn't changed a bit, though he wasn't sure why he had expected that she
should have. To her, it would only have been maybe a month or two since they
had last seen each other. Her compliments had a strong effect on him, and he
nodded a little, running a talon over the scars.* Well, glad to hear that
someone likes them at least. *The fact that it was someone whose opinion
mattered to him more than most others was something he decided to keep to
himself. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching her for a moment. There
wasn't much more he could say about this particular discussion without looking
and feeling very weird about it, so he decided to change topics.* So where are
we headed next?
Jane Shepard
*She keys up her OT, showing him
the dossier.* Prison facility. Purgatory. Space station in the middle of
nowhere. We need to pick up some sort of criminal biotic who goes by the name
Jack, no last name. History of violent behaviour. *shakes her head* Cerberus
finds us the nicest people to play with.
Garrus Vakarian
*He looks it over, nodding
slightly and sighing.* Sounds like a real gem that one. Does... does that say
that they took down a space station? Alone? I... Are we sure we want someone
like this on board? I'd hate to get one their bad side... *He glanced up at
her, looking for a long moment.* Then again, if anyone could convince a psycho
like this to join a suicidal cause, it'd be you.
Jane Shepard
*Arcs an eyebrow at him.* I'm not
entirely sure that's a compliment you know.
Garrus Vakarian
*He chuckled a little, stepping
back and leaning against his console.* It is. You have this way of convincing
people that what you're doing is what they should be doing too. You get things
done, and people follow you though just the sheer force of your personality.
Jane Shepard
I *She's embarrassed but covers
it. Leans back on one hip, crossing her arms.* That's a hell of a compliment
you just gave me Garrus. *Tries to make a joke of it.* Sweet talk like that
must make you popular with the ladies. *Throws him a grin.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Garrus chuckled softly, waving
his hand in front of his face.* Well, I don't know about that. Archangel
certainly wasn't ever in the open long enough to get see if I was popular with
any ladies. Two years where your only real focus is fighting off the next set of
mercs, you tend to lose sight of some things like that.
Jane Shepard
*She gets the strangest feeling
as he speaks. Almost... pleased? That doesn't make sense. Why would she feel
happier knowing her old companion spent the last two years making a target out
of himself? Like prodding a tooth to really see if it's sore she found herself
saying.* Well... I suppose now’s your chance. To do so I mean. You're not on
Omega anymore and you've got a whole new set of scars to show off... *she
trails off as she pictures it. Something in her stomach turns. She ignores it.*
Garrus Vakarian
*He shifted slightly against the
console, shaking his head.* Ah.. Well. I think that there's only a few women I
could even begin to show off to. Given that we're on this mission and all. *He
hoped that she wouldn't take what he said the wrong way. Or maybe it was the
right way... He chided himself inwardly for letting something like that slip.*
Jane Shepard
*And what did /that/ mean? That
someone /on/ this mission had caught his eye? Or that he already had someone in
mind and the mission was getting in the way of it? She did a quick mental
inventory of the women on ship but... really? Cerberus flunkies? She supposed
there was always Kasumi but... No, she couldn't remember him spending
particular time with anyone. Which meant it was probably someone he used to
know. Maybe someone from CSec... damn, why was this bugging her so much.* I...
see. Well you're not wrong. Suicide missions don't leave much room for a love
life it's true. *And somehow that thought made her feel better. Gorram it, what
was wrong with her today.*
Garrus Vakarian
*Her words cut to him, and he
nodded firmly.* Right. I mean, yeah. We don't really have time for things like
that... The mission is too important. *He gave another nod, more for himself
this time. He had to shake these feelings. He couldn't let them get in the way
of anything. Especially not if they made the mission any more tense than it
already was. He steeled himself a bit, nodding to her.* Anyways, I should get
back to these calibrations... I don't know what those monkeys at Cerberus were
thinking, but this thing's not even closer to firing true.
Jane Shepard
*Her mouth quirks in a small grin
at the mention of monkeys.* I'll let you get back to it. *She goes to walk out
but, before she can talk herself out of it, lets her hand rest gently on his
armoured arm for just a moment.* Thanks for the talk Garrus.
Garrus Vakarian
*He glances at her hand on his
arm, even through the armour, he can swear he can feel the heat from it on his
skin, he glances at her, and he wants so very much to tell her just the effect
she was having on him, the increased heart beat pounding blood through him as
he tried to remain outwardly calm. /Can't affect the mission Garrus. Keep it
together./ He nodded instead, trying to throw his focus into his console.*
Anytime Shepard.
Jane Shepard
*She stares at her hand on his
arm. She's gripping armour yet she could /swear/ she can feel him through it.
Her fingers are tingling again and her thoughts are running a mile an hour till
they abruptly halt on; 'shit Shepard let go, let go'. Her fingers unclasp and
without another word she leaves. It's not until the battery door closes behind
her and she's almost at the mess that she stops, holding up both hands to stare
at them. Her fingers still seemed to itch with whatever it was that was
affecting them... 'Shit.' Finally the thought steeps through. 'You touched
Garrus Vakarian... and you liked it.' She freezes all over. 'What the hell are
you going to do now...'*
Garrus Vakarian
*As the door shut, he let himself
release. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, using his hands to brace himself
against the table.* Dammit Garrus... *He didn't want to bother her with this.
Ever since he saw her again... it was like a light came back on in a part of
him he hadn't even remembered these past two years. He closed his eyes, and he
could still feel her touch on his face, along his scars, under his mandible.
Even the one on his arm still tingled slightly. He relished the feeling,
remembering it... savouring it... Because it was all he thought he could have.
All he would let himself try to have for now. Those moments... would have to be
enough for him.*
*Recording Ends*
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